It's do or die - Self Infliction

I'm forever getting myself into situations where it's guaranteed I'll be let down in some way. As if life isn't hard enough, I have to make it even harder. Geez!

I suppose if you don't put yourself out there for criticism, you'll always wonder what would've happened.

So...yesterday evening I decided to submit something I've been working on since October and now I get to play the waiting game. I can't say for sure if I'll get a rejection but I'm pretty sure it's inevitable. I'm hoping I'm wrong but let's be realistic...a first go at anything usually doesn't return success and persistence is the key for success. Or at least that's what the 'successful' people say and they're probably right.

I've been trying to keep pumped up. It's do or die!!! BUT...once you hit send on the old email, it's all about patience and wholly cow, I have none of that!

Here's been my brain activity since last night:

• Damn, I forgot to "request receipt".
• I wonder if they got it.
• How long is this going to take! Read my email dammit!
• I wonder if they got it.
• Still nothing in my inbox.
• They didn't get it...I know they didn't get it.
• Still nothing in my inbox.
• Crap...what did I just do...crap...geez, oh crap!

That's pretty much it. I'm being impatient for a rejection letter. I'm all wound up to feel bad. Well, like I said before, it's do or die and I suppose I'm doin' so I guess I'll keep livin'. We'll see what happens in the next FEW MONTHS because that's how long I have to wait. Oh this sucks!