Arriving late at Ms. S’s house, I’ve had too much instant cappuccino mix and I’ve forgotten the cookout table. Nothing out of the ordinary there. After loading her into my truck, we headed over to Ms. T’s house which is the meeting place for everyone and has been since the beginning of time. As usual, I’m one of the three chosen drivers and somehow we’re going to fit all of our gear plus our twelve sorry asses into two SUV’s and a mini-van. I transported five of the twelve ladies. The other SUV had two ladies and most of their gear plus a little bit of everyone else’s and the mini-van carted the remaining five ladies.
A car full of chatty and excited women can be difficult to manage therefore my first self-imposed requirement was to drink at least two beers before heading out. Please see the picture. This is what was in my back seat (from left to right: Ms. S, Ms. A, and Ms. E – not pictured Ms. T – she was shotgun). Now you understand the beer and why this is where things begin to get fuzzy for me. I didn’t drink while I drove; I drank only at the stops, thereby maintaining some sort of sobriety until we arrived at our destination.
Take a hard stare at these young, vibrant, beautiful, unassuming, innocent and angelic looking women. I’m sure it’s impossible to believe that the conversations which came out of these ladies could’ve made even poor John Holmes (God rest his soul) blush. Oh yes, I did joyously partake of the iniquitous conversations and contributed to them by providing the joyous sounds of a cheesy romance novel on audiotape.
In my excitement of such luscious talk, I began to rush things by speeding down the highway at 80 mph and I passed a state patrol car as it pulled out to probably pull me over. The speed at which my friends hid their beer cans and drink containers was faster than I’d ever seen them move, ever. Luckily, I didn’t get stopped but had he done so, he would’ve smelled our well pickled fragrance and it could’ve been very bad. I cannot even imagine the possible comments which could’ve poured out of the back seat while the man in uniform would do his job and write me a ticket. Imagine hearing a quiet giggle then ‘oh my, look at his thrusting and turgid pleasure rod’. It probably would’ve have sent me over the edge and straight to jail (and then hell).
In retrospect, I think we scared him. I think he knew better than to mess with us that day. Us ladies…the big scary lesbians.
I’ve only covered Friday morning. There still is Friday night, Saturday and Sunday to cover.
Hang in there as there is much much more to be continued…
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Angelic may be going a bit far, but thank you very much. Believe it or not, I would have been quiet as a mouse had we the unfortunate experience of getting pulled over. I learned a lot from the coast guard on July 3rd!
ReplyDeletescrumptious bakery treasures with an extra kick and wisconsin death trips book stories kept our back seat very interresting. Ms A and myself managed to drink 1 beer every 15min. And boy howdy were those yummy. Mind you we shared which prevented those frosty babies from getting warm. Mental note to self have cooler closer and easier to open.
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